I'm Younger Than That Now...

Busting my buns to get some work done before taking three days of vacation (the first vacation I've had since I can remember) the best rock and roll song ever comes on to describe the reality I am feeling right now in my life.

I've spent many many years being sincere, angry, urgent, right, wrong, smart, stupid, efficient, inefficient, capable, less than capable, and always very very CLEAR...

Well... That's not how I'm feeling right now.
Right now I'm feeling like I need to find my soul.

-------

Crimson flames tied through my ears
Rollin' high and mighty traps
Pounced with fire on flaming roads
Using ideas as my maps
"We'll meet on edges, soon," said I
Proud 'neath heated brow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth
"Rip down all hate," I screamed
Lies that life is black and white
Spoke from my skull. I dreamed
Romantic facts of musketeers
Foundationed deep, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Girls' faces formed the forward path
From phony jealousy
To memorizing politics
Of ancient history
Flung down by corpse evangelists
Unthought of, though, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

A self-ordained professor's tongue
Too serious to fool
Spouted out that liberty
Is just equality in school
"Equality," I spoke the word
As if a wedding vow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now.

-My Back Pages - Bob Dylan

Copyright © 1964; renewed 1992 Special Rider Music


Thanks Karen... see ya'll on the other side of the Sierra

The Kid's Alright

So... over the last two weekends (since I wrote about the necessity of waiting) I have had wonderful, engaging, heart-filled weekends and frankly it's more than I was really prepared for.

On Labor Day Weekend I spent time Friday with a relatively new friend, sitting by the water, listening to music, resting and being easy, and I spent Sunday in Oakland listening to jazz, blues, and Lucinda Williams (that's Lucinda on the left there, from a picture on a new single) and having an exceptionally good time on my own.

The week following was a nightmare (of which I wrote last Friday) and that reality had a way of bringing my feet back to ground, only to - come Friday night - have myself whisking away onto the dance floor with aforementioned "new friend" to a Tom Petty tune in the midst of what felt like a weird channeling of a Sahuarita High School dance (there's a story in THERE somewhere, but it will have to wait for another blog) and into a whirlwind weekend that has left me shaking my head and going "What was that!?"

So here I am on Tuesday morning, struggling with multiple deadlines, facing into a mountain of work, looking for the way to turn that work into a life and basically basking in a state of stupid bliss.

While I was gearing up to hear Lucinda on Labor Day Weekend, I bought Are You Alright off of iTunes and it has been playing in my head ever since.

In answer to the questions of the chorus... No... Yes... Yes... Yes Yes Yes... YES!!!!!!!!!